Blessay from America: Butterfly Happiness

Self-help is a subject much ridiculed, especially in the UK. Seen as the abode of orange skinned, American cult leaders, prowling the stage with a hands free mic strapped to their face like a ridiculous appendage, exhorting their gullible and weak-minded followers to part with their credulity and the contents of their wallets. Chanting his latest slogan, designed to bring mental clarity, peace and prosperity but all the while leaving the attendee with the feeling that they look and sound like a prize plum.

But why is self improvement so demonised? Isn't there no higher or noble calling than to want to become a better person, wife, son, parent, partner? Who wouldn't want to quit smoking? Be richer? Stop procrastinating? Live up to their potential? I differ from some of the main tenants of the more outlandish side of the discipline. You can't wish for a new Ferrari and have one appear, nor can you guarantee success by working 90 hours a week or quitting entirely to start your home made quilt business - and you definitely can't walk across Hot Coals without hurting yourself.

You can however, start accomplishing a little more, get a little fitter, eat a little better and generally feel more productive and a little happier about yourself. This is where Oliver Burkeman (above) and myself are in complete agreement. He writes a column for the Guardian on the self-improvement philosophies and a couple of excellent books on the subject - Help! and The Antidote: Happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking.

I noticed a small black butterfly fly across my path the other day when I was out for a run, it was a nice sunny day, nobody about, perfectly peaceful and it was flitting between leaves and flowers. It stopped for a little rest on a leaf, flapped it's wings as if to shake them out after an exertion and then took off again. ?This is the perfect microcosm of the much eluded happiness. That you cannot construct a virtual pleasuredome for yourself in which everything is immaculate and perfect and always will be, your moments of happiness are like the butterfly - small, fragile, insanely beautiful and fleeting.

How do you react to them? Chase them down with a psychological net to catch them, pin them to a board and watch them wither and decay, or just appreciate them for what they are, take in the perfect nature of the moment and its beauty, then go on your way, knowing that the next one is down the path and that your day and life are all the better for experiencing this one in the first place?

This isn't to discount all the numerous ways you can make yourself slightly happier, productive etc, that Burkeman and co go into in far more detail, but like any worthwhile endeavour in life, you have to prepare yourself for what you will do when you find your new plateau of achievement and happiness, how you will react to it, and what you will do to get to the next one.

We'll just keep on, keepin' on ahead of a long and deserved Labour Day break this weekend before entering the final months of 2012 with renewed optimism, energy and determination. But before all of that, you won't mind if I just stretch out on this leaf for a couple of minutes...

Source: http://blessayfromamerica.blogspot.com/2012/08/butterfly-happiness.html

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